Shenzhen Rule #224:

Big boobs are no excuse. Act like a man.

Shenzhen Rule #223:

If this is your first night at Club Viva, you have to fight.

Shenzhen Rule # 222

When you are at a nice mall don’t go outside to smoke just go into the bathroom.

Shenzhen Rule #221

You know your in Shenzhen when you are in an international airport and you see footprints on a western toilet seat.

Shenzhen Rule #220:

If you can’t remember DVD cases featuring Brendan Fraser & Julia Roberts in Indiana Jones Part VI, you’re still a China newbie.

Shenzhen Rule #219:

When attending car shows, always bring a camera and a tall white guy as your bodyguard.

Shenzhen Rule #218:

You must take greater care choosing an ayi than a girlfriend, unless you’ve managed to find both in one, in which case her mama san will want her home at some point.

Shenzhen Rule #217:

Don’t invite the Shenzhen rugby team to your wedding unless you want to celebrate with a bunch of naked dudes.

Shenzhen Rule #216:

Utilize the YCG approval checklist:
1) “Peasant feet”
2) Brown, crusty teeth
3) Hairy armpits
If you can find none of the above, feel free to proceed with further physical exploration.

Shenzhen Rule #215:

Don’t bother trying to steal the giant silver dong in front of Cucumber. That shit is bolted down tight.

Shenzhen Rule #214:

If your Shenzhen girlfriend tells you she really loves you and is not interested in your money, you:
1) Immediately file for the fiancée visa, or
2) Laugh and say “Yeah right, next”, or
3) Tell her your not so rich as she thinks, but you love her too and that will keep you both going, then see how long she hangs around
(Pick 1)

Shenzhen Rule #213:
In Shenzhen you don’t lose your girlfriend. You just lose your turn.

Shenzhen Rule #212
There ARE good, honest, caring mainlanders in Shenzhen that won’t treat you like some stupid foreigner to be cheated or fleeced – and if you stay here long enough you’ll meet both of them.

Shenzhen Rule #211:

If you’re sitting at Starbucks and a naked homeless man runs up to your table, shout “boogie woogie woogie!” quickly to confuse him until security arrives.